Franklin Merrell-Wolff describes an experience of desolation, confusion, and panic that ultimately induced a state in which he sensed as an extraneous will working to produce a complete mental disintegration, loss of memory, and inability to organize his own thought and empirical identity. He begins by giving some background material and the circumstances that led up to a condition of “psychical” fatigue, which he distinguishes from physical and mental fatigue, and notes that this may have left him vulnerable to this terrifying experience. He concludes by giving an account of the inactivation of the “butterfly valve” during this event and reports that the condition was finally broken with help from another person who was aware of the attack.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff gives instructions to guard against a misinterpretation of his philosophy, especially any interpretation which may be used to form the basis of a dogmatic religion. He stresses the point that no one is required to believe anything that he has ever affirmed just because he has affirmed it. He goes on to discuss the three fundamental principles of the philosophy which grew out of his series of five realizations.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff gives an account of two fundamental dreams that occurred prior to his Realizations of 1936. He suggests an interpretation based primarily upon the psychology of Sri Aurobindo, but he also reports on an interpretation from a Jungian perspective given by Robert Johnson. Wolff proceeds by making a distinction between the Jungian notion of the “anima” and Aurobindo’s notion of the “psychic being,” and he offers a comparison between the character of Mephisto and that of the “Asura” as he knows them from his own insight into their inner nature. Wolff provides an analysis of the second dream based on the assumption that the young woman represents the psychic being, Mephisto represents the mental Asura, and the Sage represents the transcendental component, or what Aurobindo calls the “overhead Divine.” He compares the issue of this dream on the microcosmic level to the story of the fall of Lucifer on the macrocosmic level and points out that the attempt on the part of the Asura to dominate the psychic being eventuated not in the destruction of the Asura but in its subordination as a vice-regal power under the governance of the transcendental component. Next, Robert Johnson gives his interpretation of the second dream from a Jungian point of view. He describes the Mephistophelean dance as the dance of life in which the intellect often exhausts the inner feminine of creative thinkers, and he offers Wolff a choice of following one of three paths at this stage in his life: accept physical death, find another women to continue the life-force transfusions that Gertrude provided, or seek to realize a nondual level of consciousness above all pairs of opposites symbolized by the Sage.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff begins a series of autobiographical discourses following the death of his wife Gertrude. He describes the founding of The Assembly of Man in 1928 with his first wife Sherifa and the building of the ashram in Tuttle Creek Canyon. He goes on to give an account of Sherifa’s passing and his experience of a subtle bleeding of life-force, which would only stop when in the presence of certain feminine entities. He comments on the value of his relationship with Gertrude and the credit she deserves for enabling his work, and in particular, for the production of his audio recordings. He goes on to consider whether he can continue his work now that Gertrude has passed away. He analyzes his present situation in the light of his “great dream” some fifty years earlier, and proceeds to offer facts from his personal life that tend to confirm the analysis of this dream. He relates experiences from his early years, adolescence, and school years, and emphasizes the value of his introduction to Theosophical teachings at the Temple of the People. He also highlights the importance of his Harvard metaphysics seminar in which a fellow student presented and defended a paper on Vedantic philosophy; Wolff describes how this ultimately led to his giving up the prospect of an academic career to search for a possible third function of cognition. He closes by recounting his year teaching mathematics at Stanford, his years in the army, and his meeting and marrying Sherifa.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff continues this series by commenting upon his leaving the Temple of the People in 1922 after the death of Mrs. Francis LaDue, one of its principal leaders. He gives an account of his move to San Fernando where he and Sherifa purchased a portion of his father’s orchard. He goes on to describe Sherifa’s meeting with Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan while she was in New York working for the Theosophical group in Krotona, and he relates the details of their association with him. He then outlines their association with the United Lodge of Theosophists between 1923 and 1928, and presents a brief history of the Theosophical movement. He goes on to discuss the economic problems inherent in doing public work, from which no income may be derived, and the need to earn a living, and he gives an account of his economic life. Wolff then goes on to describe his friendship with fellow Theosophist and personal physician, Dr. Frederick Finch Strong, and their trips through Death Valley in 1926 and over the Mormon Dugway in 1927. He closes by describing an automobile trip from San Fernando to Chicago in 1928.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff gives an impromptu discourse concerning the place Gertrude had in making his work possible. He begins with the death of his first wife, Sherifa, and describes the direct transfusion of prana or life-force that he used to support Sherifa during her dying process. He outlines the desolation, enantiodromia, and subtle bleeding that he experienced after her death and his need for the appropriate feminine companion to stop the bleeding and to create the conditions that would allow him to continue with his work. He gives credit to Gertrude for her contribution in making this work possible. Wolff goes on to discuss a new phase of Enlightenment that may be opening since Gertrude’s passing. He refers to the symbolism of the Grail myth and of a major dream in order to shed some light on his current condition and the challenges before him. Wolff recounts his experience of listening to a fellow student present a paper on the Vedanta and defend it successfully against all criticism while in a seminar on metaphysics at Harvard. He explains that this experience led him to abandon a promising academic career in search of a possible function of consciousness that opens the door to metaphysical truth. He goes on to relate his first learning of Shankara in The Secret Doctrine and in Deussen’s The System of the Vedanta. He proceeds to describe his fourth Realization, the taking of the Kwan-Yin vow, and the ultimate Realization of the High Indifference. He then offers an interpretation of his poem “The Supreme Adventure” as symbolically representing the yogic journey; and he emphasizes that while philosophic contemplation may orient the mind, it is not enough. One must be prepared to cross the burning desert of purification to reach the mountain top of Illumination.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff describes the difference between his work before and after the death of his second wife Gertrude. He makes a distinction between the words ‘embodiment’ and ‘incarnation’, suggesting that there could be more than one incarnation during a given embodied lifetime. He goes on to tell the story of the reincarnation of Shankara as the Christ as an example of the Monad putting forth different qualities or principles in a series of incarnations. Wolff then discusses the experiences he has been passing through that were initiated by the death of Gertrude. He acknowledges that his thinking is less philosophical, but rather more like drama or storytelling, that his former philosophical production is coming to a close, and that it is as though he is going through another incarnation. Wolff then takes up questions from those present regarding the dying process and the possibility of communication with those who have passed in.

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Franklin Merrell-Wolff continues to provide autobiographical material concerning the death of first wife, Sherifa, and his second marriage to Gertrude. He gives an account of a number psychological states that he went through after Sherifa’s death including a tendency to suicidal feelings, an enantiodromia causing a shift in his psychological type from thinking to feeling that he dealt with by cultivating an interest in music, a descent into a state of desolation, a subtle bleeding of energy or life-force, and a search for a feminine companion who had the capacity to stop the bleeding. He describes meeting Gertrude in Chicago and their trip back to Santa Barbara for her to determine whether she found living with him satisfactory. He goes on to define something of the nature of his search for a feminine companion and offers a description of Gertrude’s personality and psychological type. He provides details regarding their marriage, the settling of the estate in Santa Barbara, and the move to the ranch near Lone Pine. Wolff then reviews the psychological effect Gertrude had on his condition after the passing of Sherifa and states that while the subtle bleeding has never recurred, the death wish, experience of desolation, and enantiodromia have returned in stronger form.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff continues by describing the mundane and practical life at the ranch near Lone Pine. He gives an account of Gertrude’s hospitalization during the Convention of either 1960 or 1961. He goes on to comment on the work designing and building their new house. Wolff proceeds by telling stories that reveal their love of animals, relating details about the cats, cattle, and donkeys at the ranch. He then gives an account of a trip he and Gertrude made to Kansas City to see her dying brother. He goes on to recount a vacation trip during which their Packard failed to start resulting in their buying a new Mercedes-Benz in Monterey. Wolff goes on to describe the landscaping of their new house and the work Gertrude did designing and planting the various trees, shrubs, and gardens. He then relates their experiences on their first major automobile trip together up the Alcan Highway to Alaska.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff shares some intimate facts connected with the awakening of the heart chakra. He begins by relating the story of Buddha’s motivation to find the answer to human suffering and goes on to review the circumstances that led to his own yogic search. He proceeds by providing some biographical material and gives a description of an archetypal dream fifty years earlier that was activated following the death of his second wife, Gertrude. He then recounts the Grail myth as a means to help understand the significance of this dream. Wolff concludes by describing the monumental pain and desolation that culminated in the opening of the heart chakra and by affirming that Realization is not only the attainment of knowledge-wisdom, but also the force of compassion that comes from the heart.

Wolff gave this recording the title, “An Analysis of the Personal Problem of Franklin Merrell-Wolff Done by Himself.” He states that this recording is not for general usage; but rather, it is intended for professionals and such others as may be interested.  That being said, he also notes that this personal problem may have a collective importance, and for this reason he is publicly addressing it. The problem itself “grows out of the occasion of three events: first, the death of my first feminine associate, Sarah A. Merrell-Wolff; second, the recent death of my second feminine associate, Gertrude A. Wolff; and apparently, at least in the view of the analyst, through the activation of a major archetypal dream.”

Franklin Merrell-Wolff shares some intimate facts connected with the awakening of the heart chakra. He begins by relating the story of Buddha’s motivation to find the answer to human suffering and goes on to review the circumstances that led to his own yogic search. He proceeds by providing some biographical material and gives a description of an archetypal dream of some fifty years earlier that was activated following the death of his second wife, Gertrude. He then recounts the Grail myth as a means to help understand the significance of this dream. Wolff describes the monumental pain and desolation that culminated in the opening of the heart chakra, which he notes corroborates Aurobindo’s notion of the synthesis of yoga; he concludes with the affirmation that Realization is not only the attainment of knowledge-wisdom, but also the force of compassion that comes from the heart.

In this recording, Franklin Merrell-Wolff discusses the future of his work after the death of Gertrude. He considers his work to follow in the line of Shankara—that is, to teach using the means of a “rationally understandable” philosophy–but notes that since Gertrude’s death he has not been able to carry out this effort. He speculates that he may be able to return to this work in the future, but that as of late his focus has been on Gertrude and the subject of death, as well as some material of a biographical sort.

In this recording, Franklin Merrell-Wolff makes a “psychological report” of his condition following the death of his second wife, Gertrude. He notes that if her death was “only a matter of personal concern, it would not be proper to bring the matter before the attention of the present group.” But, he continues, it has a collective significance for two reasons: first, it has affected his capacity in the field of public activity; second, the shock of her death has led to the activation of an archetypal dream that is of collective significance. In this first part of his report, Wolff recounts an experience that he interprets as a “trial run of the death process.” From this experience he infers that the key to conscious dying may lie in holding a divided consciousness whereby one portion of the consciousness witnesses the transition of another portion of consciousness as it moves from one plane to another.

In this recording, Franklin Merrell-Wolff continues the “psychological report” of his condition following the death of his second wife, Gertrude. He discusses the reestablishment of an “interlock” between himself and Gertrude, and the consequences of this interlock; namely, the capacity to produce “genuine philosophic formulations,” the capacity “to turn from the off-beam state of consciousness—the ordinary consciousness—to the on-beam state of consciousness, and do this at will,” and the capacity to experience “spontaneous thinking.”

Franklin Merrell-Wolff, after an interval of nearly four years, returns to autobiographical material and elaborates upon the material presented earlier in this series. He recaps his introduction to Theosophical teachings at the Temple of the People in Palo Alto during his junior year at Stanford and comments upon the difference between the intuitive thinking characteristic of Temple members and the rational thought required in the university. Wolff then recalls a thesis on Vedanta philosophy that he heard successfully defended while attending a seminar on metaphysics at Harvard University and the decisive importance it had on the life pattern he ultimately chose. He elaborates upon the curricula he pursued while at Stanford and Harvard and he discusses his non-academic interests in the history of the area around Cambridge and New England. He reminisces about having met Henri Bergson and Rabindranath Tagore while at Harvard. He goes on to discuss the significance of having learned of the “lost” years of Jesus while traveling in the East as St. Issa. He also relates his experiences with Norbert Wiener while at Harvard. Wolff reflects upon the phase of his life after remaining at Harvard proved to be financially untenable, which led to his accepting an offer to teach mathematics for a year at Stanford during the sabbatical of Professor Blichfeldt. He outlines the development of non-Euclidean geometry and its application in Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity, and elaborates upon the significance of the descent of the Manasaputra as an example of determining the extent that the conceptual order gives us truth, in addition to the power it yields over the sensuous order. He goes on to describe his year of teaching at Stanford and his decision to abandon his academic career in order to enter the wilderness south of Carmel to answer the mystic call in search of another way of cognition. Wolff comments upon his return to Halcyon and the Temple of the People where he studied Theosophical literature, which is said to be material channeled through H.P. Blavatsky by Koot Hoomi, Morya, and Hilarion. He offers an extended footnote on the distinction between mediumship and legitimate channeling, and addresses the question of why there are such groups as the Temple of the People and the Theosophical Society and why the knowledge which they impart should be handled with great care.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff continues to provide autobiographical material by giving an account of the feminine side of his experience. He explains that during adolescence when his interest in members of the other sex was awakened, at the same time his interest in the field of thought was awakened. He then goes on to relate the story of his break with the Christian church over the belief in the literal resurrection of the physical body and maintains that truth-determination requires much more than dogmatic assertion. He acknowledges that although during his student years he had a brief encounter with one young woman, during his year teaching at Stanford he did have a deeper relationship with a fellow Theosophical student that ended in her becoming interested in a younger man and ultimately committing suicide. Wolff then proceeds to relate the circumstances of his meeting and ultimately marrying Sherifa while living in Halcyon. He discusses the founding of The Assembly of Man, the building of the ashram in Tuttle Creek Canyon, Sherifa’s failing health, and their move from San Fernando to Santa Barbara where she ultimately passed away.

Franklin Merrell-Wolff continues to provide autobiographical material about Sherifa's death and his coping with life after her passing away. He describes the subtle bleeding of pranic life-force that he experienced after Sherifa's death and his need to seek feminine companionship with someone who had the power to stop the bleeding if he were to be able to continue his work. He then proceeds to relate the circumstances surrounding his meeting and marrying Gertrude. Wolff goes on to explain the nature of his relationship with Sherifa and with Gertrude. He comments upon the audio recordings that he produced during his marriage to Gertrude, and the need to transcribe them if they are to be published. He then gives an account of the liquidation of his property in San Fernando and Santa Barbara prior to his move to Lone Pine with Gertrude to live and continue the work.

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Franklin Merrell-Wolff records his final words asserting that all of his statements are subject to correction in light of a greater knowledge and understanding. He also states that no one should accept his philosophy blindly, but only as it appears to his own intuition and understanding.